When did social media become anti-social?

In the beginning…

When social media began in earnest at the start of the new century it promised so much.

According to the dictionary social relates to human interactions, and, in this context, media is communication.

And in the beginning that was exactly what it did. And it was extraordinarily good at it.

When Friends Reunited launched in the early 2000s it did precisely that. I used the website to reconnect with old school friends and even attended a reunion organised via the website. It was a hugely useful and empowering utility that helped remind me why I disliked some fellow pupils at the time. But it also rekindled some beautiful relationships that had fallen by the wayside as they so often do. The website was also blamed for contributing to the rise in the divorce rate. (https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2004/sep/01/johncarvel)

Myspace launched soon after and it quickly became a vital tool in promoting myself as a musician and a valuable marketplace to showcase my music and connect with like-minded artists. It was the first time I was able to share my music with an audience that didn’t just comprise of my family, friends, or local neighbourhood. It opened up the world!

The largest and most well-known social media platform of course is Facebook. What began as a way for Harvard students to connect with one another quickly became a worldwide phenomenon. But what started as a social experiment and a way of connecting people quickly became something else entirely. Zuckerberg et al soon realised that they could make a ridiculous amount of money from monetising people’s attention (and selling their personal information too, but that's for a different discussion).

You can’t blame them for this. After all, they deserved some recompense for their ideas, determination, and coding skills. And this new worldwide audience was an advertiser’s goldmine.

When I started using Facebook in 2007 it was a genuinely useful place. I reconnected with long-lost friends, made new connections and networks, kept up with what everyone was up to, learnt new things about their hobbies, likes, and pet hates, and in turn let them all know what a wonderful life I was having – even if that wasn’t always true.

But it wasn’t long before the cracks started appearing. The first for me was the realisation that everyone wasn’t having a better time than me – it just appeared that way because of what they chose to share with the rest of the world. And I was doing exactly the same.

I was also guilty of over-sharing personal information that probably would have been better left unshared. I know my life would have been a lot less complicated if I had learned that particular lesson much earlier.

I became aware of a compulsive need to keep checking my social media feed in case there was something I should know. A realisation that the time I was spending on line was alarming. And that nagging idea that if you were separated from your social media for any length of time you would be missing out on something important. And then the trolls came out from under their bridges.

Anonymity meant some people could suddenly be rude and hateful without any of the normal social consequences. They could say whatever they liked with impunity and with no regard for the effect this would have to the people on the receiving end of their vitriol. The cumulative effect of this cyberbullying behaviour on people’s self-esteem, anxiety levels and mental health has probably been one of the most destructive consequences of this new freedom.

Other problems were more insidious, and I wasn’t even aware of them at first. But eventually I noticed that my feed had changed. It wasn’t showing me what my friends were posting as much as before, and most of the content was from people I didn’t know, and they were trying to sell me things (products, lifestyles, ideas, ideologies) that I didn't want or need.

And then smartphones and Reels and the likes of YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok came along, and we began to spend hours watching videos of people falling over, car crashes, pranks, food preparation, and kittens.

Eventually the algorithm became King. Social media knew what I liked and wanted to show me things it thought I would be interested in or should be. On the face of it, this was a harmless marketing ploy, but what it did was reinforced your view of the world, giving the false impression that the things you liked and believed in were universal. Everyone loved motorcycles and music and snooker. I was normal.

In itself that isn’t necessarily an issue. When it becomes a problem is when the things you are interested in aren’t universal, or positive, or good for you. Such as (in no particular order) radical religious beliefs, guns, misogyny, racism, or suicidal thoughts.

Facebook has only recently settled a court case about the harm their products were accused of doing to young people (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cd68q3wynnqo). It, and others, have also been accused of designing platforms in ways that encourage addictive behaviour and doom scrolling, exposing young minds to things we never had to deal with in previous generations.

I think we are all waking up to the realisation that we haven’t been in control of social media for a very long time, and that it now controls us to a great extent. I’m sure we all know people who have made the decision to leave social media or at least lessen their dependence on it. I stopped using Facebook to stay in touch with friends some time ago and only occasionally post about holidays or special occasions. My main use these days is to promote and raise awareness of my art and music.

It would have seemed inconceivable a few years ago to even suggest a time when we might grow tired of social media. But the widespread realisation that this tool has more negatives than positives may lead to exactly that situation. Some Gen Z are turning their backs on superficial connections and returning to the old ways of face-to-face, real-world networking. (https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gen-z-tiktok-social-media-trends-b2940768.html)

Social media is not inherently bad. But human nature gets in the way. While it offers powerful ways to connect, and educate, and entertain, our tendency for addictive behaviour and excessive use is leading to mental health and social problems that will have devastating outcomes if we do not change the way we use it – actively or passively.

I am not trying to persuade you to jump ship, delete all the apps from your phone, or withdraw from the digital world. It still has many benefits which can have positive effects on society and individuals. Me included.

But perhaps it is time for us all to take a breath, put on our coats, and go out for a walk. Meet some friends in the park. Go to a coffee shop. Have a chat. Face to face. Like we did in the old days.